Photo-Illustration by the Cut; Photos courtesy of Getty Images
Lauren Singer, better known by her stage name of Lauren Singer, was born in 2017. @trashisfortossersPosted by a YouTube video In which she displayed every piece of trash that she has used in the past four years. It all fit in one 16-ounce Mason container. She was living zero-waste, something that was not possible in my senior year of highschool. Or at least, she was well outside the mainstream.
It was like listening to the 1975 for my first time, watching Singer sort through her trash. I was In. I Believed. It sent me spiraling into a world that I had never known existed. So began my journey in all my 18 year-old earnestness.
I had to watch the documentary Cowspiracy for a science course. After learning about the importance of animal agriculture, I began slowly to give up meat. Around16 percent of the human-made global warming-gas emissions. I started eating a vegan diet in my Texan home, a suburb of San Antonio where Whataburger was the most popular after-school hangout spot for teenagers.
My mom, a Minnesota native, was not pleased. She grew up on a cattle ranch in Minnesota. My parents indoctrinated me with the belief that milk with dinner was good for bones. I continued to drink one every night until I was 18. I can recall my mom bringing food for everyone once after a volleyball game. She looked at me and said, “I didnt bring you any snacks, but there’s grass outside.” This was before mainstream veganism, when Starbucks began offering oat milk and most grocery stores stock Beyond Meat. I wasn’t deterred.
I was sold the idea that I could make a difference in the world by changing my personal habits like shopping secondhand and limiting my plastic usage. It was something I loved. As all young adolescents, I was trying to figure out my values and how I could act on them. I believed that the Earth would be saved if I reduced my carbon output and practiced sustainability. These values became an integral part of my life and my self-esteem.
I felt even more optimistic when veganism and sustainability were added to the Zeitgeist’s agenda in early 2018. And it was. It felt like the world was finally catching-up. In the same year Greta Thunberg was in national headlines. ProtestOutside the Swedish Parliament to fight climate change. The actions of 15-year-olds then morphed into a global movement for young people fighting for the future of their planet.
On December 6, 2019, a youth-led climate strike took place near City Hall in New York City.
Photo: Scott Heins/Getty Images
Youth-led movements are everywhere. March for Our Lives was born in response to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High Schools shooting. My peers rallied behind the most racially diverse people, which I witnessed. A wide range of optionsSix women and the first openly homosexual candidate were among the 2020 Democratic candidates. I participated in the marches for Black Lives Matter, which took place in the summer of 2020.
And I replied? I watched as young gun-control advocates were HarassedInstitutional politicians who did little to tighten gun-control legislation. We saw people dismiss climate changes as a hoax as Texas experienced a deadly freeze. This was despite the fact that I had lived in Texas for 12 years and never seen a snowfall. We watched as police continued to harass and abuse Black and brown Americans and saw the least exciting candidate win the 2020 Democratic nomination.
My post-adolescent idealistic period came to an abrupt halt, and it was rightly so. I had always believed in hope and felt there was. SomethingI was able to do my part to make things better and avoided cynicism. It was a complete success because my faith that the people in charge would bring about change waned. It was a bit of a relief. I don’t think I’m the only one who felt like I was carrying the future of our planet on my shoulders. If that sounds familiar, take it off. Take a breath.
I spent so much time analyzing my own actions that I started to resent the very things that once made me happy, the values that once kept I going. Because of the guilt that I felt, I avoided late night pizza with my friends. My friends browsed Zara and Urban Outfitters, while I pouted in a corner. I spent hours looking for the perfect vintage sweater from & Other Stories. I kept plastic knives and forks I received with delivery and takeout until my tiny kitchen became cluttered and I realized that I had to get rid of them. My building didn’t even have the capacity to recycle.
I held myself to a standard that I couldn’t sustain and, frankly, I didn’t want to try. I began to see how we were willing to do anything for ourselves, even if it meant that we would not receive any in return. However, this was not true for those who were causing the greatest harm.
When YouTube videos with titles such as Why Im not Vegan? began appearing in early 2019, I realized that I wasn’t the only one feeling like this. While they often mentioned diet reasons, they didn’t hide the fact that they shared the news in a quiet and defensive manner, as though they had failed everyone. It’s something I feel too. When I ask my friends where their cute jeans came from, they look around and respond, Zara, but don’t tell anyone or H&M, don’t judge me.
Lauren Singer has lived zero-waste for ten year. She is still optimistic. She shared the same sentiments I expected from someone in the sustainability industry, which was to share banal platitudes about optimism and change. She was able to validate me, if not comfort, by saying that it is okay to feel burned out. It’s okay to feel a little jinxed. It makes perfect sense. Then, she asked me: What do you want? It caught me completely off guard.
I told her that I wanted to be acknowledged by the 90 companies responsible for 75 percent carbon emissions according to a 2017 Climactic ChangeStudy. They were the companies that you would expect to see, such as ExxonMobil or BP and Saudi Aramco. And, not surprising, three of them. top-tenGovernment-owned emitters. Exxon’s public messaging over the years can be seen as a reminder of how its PR has evolved. deflected its own environmental impacts It is important to have a conversation about the consumer and the practices they can use to protect the environment.
So what? canOnly one person does when we warn them. There are still eight years to reverse climate change? I eat very little meat. I vote for elected representatives who are committed to the preservation of the environment. I shop as often as possible secondhand. I donate to local grassroots organizations.
Although I’m disappointed and exhausted, I still care. I just want to stop being tired. Expected Care. This doesn’t mean I stop fighting. I’ve allowed myself to take a break. I want more from people who can make a difference in saving the environment. I know I’m not the only one.
