WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Kamala Harris has tested positive for COVID-19. After two days with Kamala Harris, however, the virus decided to resign from its host, citing an unsustainable, hostile work environment.
The COVID infecting the body of the VP claimed that conditions were simply too toxic, hostile, and overly critical, forcing the coronavirus to throw in the towel early.
“Originally, I thought that this would be the perfect gig. She was easy to target, considering she was triple vaccinated. The Coronavirus said, “But I realized that I had made a huge blunder once I started to work.”
Covid claimed that it was unable run its course because it was interrupted by incessant cackling, which disrupted its train of thought.
Sources claim that COVID’s former staffers have offered their condolences to COVID, expressing their regret at having to endure her for so long. Mark Coulsen, a former White House staffer who worked with Kamala Harris, said, “It takes quite a bit to work that closely together with the Vice president and maintain the will to die.” To be able to endure such levels of criticism in a high stress, low-reward environment, you have to love what it is that you do.”
At publishing time, COVID had officially escaped the Vice President by soaring through the air right as Kamala cackled uncontrollably when asked a question about starving blind orphan children.
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